So a few days ago, I decided to change my birthday on FaceBook to December 16th because my birthday was drawing near and I guess I'm curious to see how many of these 236 "friends" (half of whom I do not even know, as 3 of my friends have access to my FaceBook and one used to add random seemingly cute girls on it to check out their pictures and see if they're actually cute or not) of mine actually know when my birthday is. I'm guessing not that many, but I want to send a card or give something back to those people who actually remember and take the time to go out of their (presumably) busy day to go to my wall and wish me a happy birthday. Not because there's an annoying reminder on the side of their FaceBook home page telling them to do so, but because they wanted to.

My real birthday is actually tomorrow, and now that I'm thinking about it (when I should be thinking about nutrition instead, as I still have one last final to take mañana) I realized that I never did anything special to celebrate any of my birthdays. Ever. You know how everyone makes a big deal out of their 16th (girls, anyway) and 18th birthday and they always have to throw some huge epic party or do something crazy to make it memorable? Well, I never had any of that, and looking back on it, I feel kind of deprived. Is it because I'm Chinese and I have super strict overprotective parents? Or is it because my birthday's near Christmas and it's cold and nobody wants to come out to celebrate with me? Maybe it's because nobody remembers. Or it could just be that I'm no fun. Or all of the above. So let's take a trip down memory lane and see what I did for two of the three supposedly most important birthdays in a girl's life (the third being 21st birthday), shall we?

16th birthday - o wow, would you look at that? Spent with family. How original. /sarcasm Now let's look at my 18th.

18th birthday - Surprise, surprise. Well, what do you know? With family. Again. Just like every other year.

19th birthday - And it's no surprise of course, this year I also celebrated with family, but early, since it's on a Tuesday this time. Wonder what I'll be doing to "celebrate" tomorrow besides taking my nutrition final. o by the way, that little dark skinned man that you see next to me in all of those pictures is not my dad, if you were wondering. LOL He's my uncle on my mom's side. I'm always in a picture with him because our birthdays are right next to each other. Funny guy. HURRAY FOR FRUITCAKE!!!

o. It is 12:18 right now, and I have work tomorrow because I forgot to take the day off. Fuck me. -.- I shall rant about Christmas shopping tomorrow when I get home from work.

Edit:

ok. Just got home from work a little while ago. So everyone knows that during Christmas time (especially as you draw nearer to the actual day) people go crazy shopping for presents for family and loved ones. So you're probably thinking o, giving and receiving presents can only be a pleasant experience, since it's supposed to go both ways, right? Wrong. Let's face it - it doesn't go both ways. Yeah, I know Christmas isn't just about getting presents and I shouldn't care about whether or not I get anything out of doing something nice, but come on, the economy's shitty and I'm a college student. Both of those factors combined = no munnies. In order to save myself the devastation of spending mad money on people who aren't even thinking about me, why not just only buy presents for people who plan on getting me something to begin with? But the problem with that is there's no definite way of being able to tell if someone is planning to give you a present or not without having to ask and imposing yourself on them. I mean, if you have to ask your friend if they're going to buy you a present, doesn't that pretty much sound like "YOU BETTER BUY ME SOMETHING, BITCH"?? Because that's what it sounds like to me. Ahaha.

No, but srsly though, this puts me in a real dilemma because now I have to reevaluate which friends I value more than others (as fucked up as that sounds) and then think about what kind of gift would be thoughtful and shit to give, y'know? Not sure about other people, but that is a very challenging task for me. I always tell myself o. Let me just go shopping and if I see something that reminds me of so-and-so I'll just buy it for them, right? But THAT NEVER HAPPENS. I always end up buying shit for myself, and wasting mad money - just ask Jason, ahahah. Now you're probably thinking o Jessica, you guys must not be that close if you don't even know what they like but I'm telling you, it's mad hard after being friends with them for years. You can't exactly buy them the same shit every year and if you know me, you'll know that I have bad memory, so I can barely remember what I bought for people the previous years. I don't want to give them the same thing twice. That's stupid! :[ Then when I finally think I know what to give someone, either I have no idea where to buy that item, or the store doesn't have it in their size or just something goes wrong to fuck me over. And being the procrastinator that I am, I'll probably only have thought of what to give a few days before Christmas, so when I try to go shopping during that time period, all the other procrastinators are there too, trying to pick out the best leftover shit and I have to wrestle my way through crowds and fight off old grannies and mothers of many children. You'd think that after winning several bitchfights, it'd finally be over, but NO. That's just the beginning.

Next you have to stand in a super long ass line in the store, waiting for the cashiers to ring you up, and we all know that cashiers are typically SUPER slow, either because they're fat, have super long fake fingernails that cause them to punch in numbers super slowly, talk more than they work, or all of the above. I dunno about you niggas, but my body heats up really quickly and easily, so standing on a long ass line that's barely moving in my winter jacket inside of a store that has heat WHILE HOLDING A SHIT LOAD OF ITEMS is just fucking torture to me. Ok, finally I get up to the cashier and I pay for my shit. Now I have to go home and wrap all that shit and then find time to either mail it (to my niggas in other states) or deliver it (to my niggas who live near me). Now don't get me wrong - I don't hate Christmas at all. I just hate the Christmas shopping experience and the whole annoying process that follows. Why bother giving presents if I hate it so much? Because I like the happy expressions on my friends' faces when they get/open my present. It's makes everything worth it. For me, anyway.

People tell me that Christmas is just whatevs, and if I don't want to worry about Christmas shopping, I should just not buy anybody presents to avoid the trouble. BUT THEY'RE WRONG. What if someone thinks that we're mad tight and they went through the trouble of buying me something nice and thoughtful, and I have NOTHING to give back? Then I'll look like an asshole (even though I am one) and then it'll seem like I don't think of them as my friends, y'know? It's not a very pleasant feeling to be giving someone something and not getting anything in return, especially when you think of them as your homie. I would know because it happens to me all the time. For me, I don't want my friends to spend money, but rather I want them to spend some time on or with me. People have been asking me what I want for my birthday or Christmas this year and I tell them that I just want a handmade card.

I'm easy to please, and I actually like getting cards from people. I keep all of the cards/letters that people mail or give to me in a box and cherish them forever and ever. Anyway, because I realized that while I can't buy presents for everyone and I don't want to not give some people nothing, I've decided to just make them something like a card or cookies and distribute those like how shelters distribute food to the homeless.

Damn, I just went to town with this rant. Thanks if you actually read this whole blog entry. I try to keep things short, but I tend to go on and on and not shut up. Maybe next time I'll just record a video rant like those YouTube niggas. If I ever get past the feeling of awkwardness for talking to myself in front of a camera, HAHA.

Chicken noodle soup, chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side. Just kidding, no soda on the side. I rarely drink soda now. But yes, I am sick again, and my brother's friend JJM (short for Jing Jun Ma) came out today to cook me chicken noodle soup. Went to PathMark to grab some Campbell's chunky canned chicken noodle soup and pasta to put in the soup to make it more filling, since it was going to be our lunch. We both cooked it SO THAT MEANS I COOKED. Sorta. Dunno, it was surprisingly easy, and actually came out looking pretty good. The taste was okay. I've had better, but can't expect much from canned soup. o and right before I had to go to work, JJM took me to this place to get these weird looking chips. Because of the fact that it was a long spiraling fried piece of chip on a really long stick, everyone that I walked by couldn't help but turn and look at me in wonder and awe, trying to figure out what I was holding in my hand. LOL Some dude was asking his friend "omg what is that??" I died.

So yesterday was Thanksgiving, and as usual, it was spent with family. This year I went to eat out at some Chinese restaurant with my relatives on my dad's side of the family. Jason and Sylvia (who came back for the weekend to celebrate Thanksgiving) came out to Chinatown earlier before dinner to walk around and look for Christmas gifts for friends. It was chilly outside, and we walked from Chinatown to Broadway, where we saw people lining up at Best Buy already at 4PM already. Wtf, don't they plan on celebrating Thanksgiving? I guess a sale on electronics is more important to them than spending time with their families. After getting back to my place and chilling for an hour, we went out to dinner. It wasn't too bad, but as usual, there wasn't much conversation going on between me and the rest of my other cousins (4 other guys; not Jason or Sylvia). It was awkward just asking them what food they wanted to order. Kind of sad, isn't it? Considering that they're American (meaning there's no language barrier and I've known them my whole life), but yet we don't see each other more than 3 or 4 times a year at most, compared to how I'm super close with my cousins on my mom's side even though I only got to know 5-6 years ago.

Anyway, after dinner, we went up to grandma's to see grandpa, who stayed home due to his severe asthma condition. For some reason, after eating dinner nobody was smart enough to use the bathroom before leaving, so everyone had to take a leak or a shit when they got up to my grandparent's apartment. Fortunately, Sylvia, Jason and I walked fast, so we got there first and I was able to pee after Sylvia. Unfortunately, Jason had to take a shit, but Sylvia left her bottle of water in the bathroom, so right before Jason could go in, I tried to grab the bottle, but it somehow slipped out of my hand and landed in the toilet bowl. LOLOLOL. I KNOW, I KNOW. I'M A KLUTZ. You should've seen Jason's face; it was literally like this =__= "ARE YOU SRS!? PICK IT UP I GOTTA SHIT" and I ran outta there like there was no tomorrow. He ran after me demanding that I pick it up because "it's my piss", but I FLUSHED ALREADY SO TECHNICALLY IT'S CLEAN. Sorta. Ok, not rly, but still, I wasn't about to pick it up. By then, my dad and uncle came up stairs, and my dad had to take a leak too, so he went into the bathroom without knowing about the surprise I left for him. I was just sitting in the living room, listening hard for him to scream out in anger "WHICH DUMBASS THREW A BOTTLE OF WATER IN THE TOILET", but he didn't. Instead, he just fished it out and asked about it after taking a leak, so I didn't have to clean up my own mess. EHEHEH >:D

I followed Jason and Sylvia home that night and slept over at their place because we were going to Staten Island Mall to shop for Black Friday. I asked Peter to come and told him we were going to pick him up at 4-5. Any normal person would assume that Black Friday shopping = 4-5AM, but this nigga somehow got the idea that it was going to be 4-5PM. Like, wtf? Sometimes, I wonder how his mind works. LOL. We set an alarm to ring at 4AM, but I was coughing so badly that I woke myself up before that, so I heard the alarm go off and then Jason turned it off. I assumed that he was awake, since he had to reach over to turn the alarm off, but nigga didn't make any move to get out of bed. After a good 5 minutes, Sylvia comes out of her room and tries to wake him up, but fails, so I went in and gave it a go. Nigga wrapped his blankets around himself so tightly that I couldn't even figure out which way his head was for a good 5 seconds LOL. Then I had to pull a LuanLegacy without the singing (too early for that) or dragging (he's too heavy), in order to wake him up.

We arrived at Staten Island Mall at 6AM, and went to Best Buy first to check out this camera that I really want to get, but they didn't have it. :[  owell, I order online, no biggie. Walked to main mall area after and basically whole half of the morning was spent hunting for snow shoes for Sylvia because apparently it snows a lot where her school is. While we were going through all these shoe stores that she stopped by to look at, Jason and I found shoes for ourselves before she finally settled down on a classic pair of Timberlands. More walking, rest, repeat. At the end of the day, I spent a little over $150 not including food on boots, jacket, skirts, and gloves. Interesting thing is that the lines at Best Buy continued to grow, even after 7PM of Black Friday. Mad OD. You'd think it'd be empty after the afternoon, but nooo.

ohi guys. Today is Veteran's day aka 11.11.11. It has nothing to do with how my day went at all though; just sayin'. So, first thing's first. I FINALLY GOT MY HAIRCUT. After waiting a good 2 weeks for Fanny to be free and be there for it, it is finally done! I think because I had to wait so long, I hyped it up and was expecting it to be so much more awesome than it really is, and thus set myself up for disappointment. I don't really know how to describe how I feel about my new cut. I guess I'm not dissatisfied, but I'm not exactly content either? Everyone keeps telling me that I won't look good with short hair, and every time I find the resolve to want to cut my hair shorter, the barber or someone else always breaks it with a simple "you wouldn't look good with short hair," while shaking their head at me. T_T NEXT TIME. I SWEAR. I didn't really have any definite ideas about what I wanted the hair stylist to do, so I just told him to decide for me. I guess I just wanted to change the way I look, and although it's not what I expected, my new haircut is definitely different from my old one. Not crazy different, but I like how the front looks.

After getting our haircut, we went to King's Plaza Mall to get our Christmas shopping done early. That was uber fail because we ended up not buying much and having to leave early. Fanny and I went into Claire's because we haven't been in one for so long and ended up "buying" some hair accessories, ahaha. On our way out of the mall, we saw a car with an eyelash on its headlights. One of them fell off :[ LOL. It got really cold by the end of the day, so we stopped by Wendy's for some of their delicious chili and fries, YEEE! All in all, a good day spent with my BFFL♥ and favorite cousin, which involved lots of food and shoplifting. And now I must go make my steam account. Until next time!

Edit:
Here's a video of how our day went.

My first one in years. In the shower. What the fuck. -.-.- So I'm in the shower, (getting clean before my night class - stats @ 6:20) just finished with conditioning my hair and about to wash my face. I felt water in my mouth so I spit it out. Looking down, I realized the water was red. o wait, that's right, water's not red; it was blood. Even at that point, I still didn't realize that my nose was bleeding because I haven't had one in so long. I actually thought that my mouth was bleeding, like maybe my gums or something. That sometimes happens when I'm brushing my teeth. It was stupid of me to think that though because I WASN'T BRUSHING MY TEETH. Only when I popped my head in front of the mirror to check out which part of my mouth was bleeding did I realize that I was having a nosebleed.  Talk about slow. HAHAH. When it finally registered to me as a nosebleed, I kinda just stood there for a good half a minute, staring in disbelief at the blood flowing profusely from my left nostril, thinking that I was hallucinating. Then I tasted the saltiness of the blood in my mouth when I swallowed and snapped back into reality, thinking oshit wtf, how am I supposed to finish my shower like this? So here are the pros and cons of being in the shower when your nose decides to start sprouting out blood. 

Pros:
- You can always just ignore it and keep showering, having blood run down your whole front body because the water will wash it away. I didn't do that though, too gross and messy to clean up later.
- You can just spit the blood that comes down your throat (when you hold your head back) right away.
- No blood on your clothes, AYYY!
- Not too hard to finish the rest of my shower, since I hold my head back when I wash my hair anyway.

Cons:
- Rather difficult trying to get dressed without looking down.
- Also difficult washing my face while looking up at the ceiling.
- I can't look like a retard with toilet paper up my nose because the water will melt it.

Actually, now that I think about it, there aren't that many cons to being in the shower when it happened. Could've been worse. Like getting a nosebleed while I'm sleeping. INTERESTING FACT: Unlike some people who just sleep through it and then wake up in a nasty bloody mess, I actually wake up JUST BEFORE I start to bleed. Pros: no mess. Cons: an hour of sleep gone. Weird, huh?

Sounds lame, right? Who goes shopping with their mom anymore? Well, I usually don't, believe me, but I started to feel bad because I'm always rejecting her requests to hang out with friends or my cousins instead. "Gosh, Jessica. Why can't you spend some time with your mother? She does so much for you. She raised you" blahblahblah. Yes, I know, but damn, you don't know how annoying it is to go shopping with my mom. Shopping with her is torturous -- shes makes me walk around stores that she likes (i.e Macy's ugh) then asks me to carry her bags or items for her. When she sees something she likes, she will try to hint (what she thinks is) "subtly" at me to buy it for her by saying things like "Omg, I want to get this, but it's sooooo expensive. If only someone would buy it for me as a gift." Four out of five times I'll ignore her hints and say "just buy it if you like it and if you think it's too expensive then don't buy it," but this woman is shameless in such that she'll just come out and say it straight out. "I think that you should buy this for me. You work. C'mon." And nine out of ten times, I'll say "No. Buy it yourself", which will piss her off and then I'll have to deal with a very bitchy mother for the next day or two. Not only that, but by the time she's finished shopping for her stuff and we go to stores that I want to go to, she's all tired and in a rush to leave. To top it off, she also likes to judge things that I want to buy with my own money and try to discourage me by saying shit like "o it's so expensive, so not worth it". And that is why I always skip out on shopping invites from my mother. It's not because I don't love her -- no, it's just that I hate being pressured or forced into doing things. It's not like I don't buy things for her; I just want to do it because I want to and because I feel like it, not because she forced me to, so the more she pressures me to do it, the more I won't want to. It's just the way I am, I guess.

Anyway, now that you understand why I don't like shopping with my mom, let's get back to what happened today. Basically I spent a good 2 hours walking around Macy's with her, which is a big sacrifice on my part because I fucking hate Macy's. It's so huge and everything is everywhere. I never know where to find what I want and by the time I figure it out, I'd have walked around so much that I'm dead tired. Ugh. So the whole time we were there, I was following her around helping her find things that are her size and carrying the items that she wanted to buy. After that, we went to American Eagle to return the shit that I ordered online and exchanged it for other stuff. I got a coupon for a free Aerie bra and she took that too lol. Whatevs, not like I had to pay for it. Highlight of my day: I finally bought a pair of boots from Steven Madden. Total came up to about $6x, which is pretty cheap since Fanny said hers was like $1xx.

Oh, by the way, a cashier from Macy's asked if my mom was my sister. LOLOL. Boy, was she happy to hear that. In Chinese, she was telling me that the woman was crazy, but I know she was secretly very pleased.

Finally took the time to compile a video (took me 2+ hours for a 5 min video wtffff) from the footage that was recorded on the day I went rock climbing with Jason and Peter. Actually, I'm not sure if this counts as a vlog, since people who do vlogs like to sit and talk in front of the camera, whereas this is just a compilation of footage throughout my day. It's the 2nd video I ever made, so it's not crazy good. Is decent, I guess. There was only 1 scene where I was climbing because Jason is a terrible cameraman. Can you believe he held the camera up this one time and didn't even bother to check if the camera was recording?! Fail. -.-.- Anyway, enjoy!

I'm starting to think I have A.D.D. I know that I should be focusing on studying right now, but I can't help but to do ANYTHING ELSE and distract myself from doing what I should be doing until the very last minute. Arghasdljfasslak. Hate this side of me. D: