She sits there in the corner of her room,
feeling exhausted, stressed, and all alone.
Waiting patiently for him to approach her first,
she does what she can to not look at her phone.

She wants to watch a movie, maybe play a game,
or just chat about their day. It really doesn't matter.
She just wants to spend some time together,
though she'd probably prefer the latter.

Hours go by and still he's too busy for her
It's getting rather late, and almost time for bed,
yet still he's too preoccupied with his own shit.
Other than food, games and sleep, wtf else is in his head?

It pains me to watch her do this to herself,
for she holds onto a blade that makes her bleed.
Let go of it, I beg her, it's not worth it-- 
he is not something that you need.

But I really like him, she starts to protest
Yes, but that won't keep your relationship going.
He's a really sweet and nice guy though!
So what? His feelings aren't even showing.

Tell me darling, when was the last time
he initiated a conversation with you?
Does he ever call to ask about your day
or want to know if you're feeling happy or blue? 

Do you enjoy being treated like a trophy? 
Cause he only worked hard to get you back, 
and once you agreed to start dating again,
his efforts, did they not begin to lack?

Besides, I added, you've told him again and again
to stop taking you for granted, to show you he cares.
Only then he comes back with minimal effort
but the next day again, he's not going to be there. 

I'm sorry, dear, and I know I'm being blunt,
but sadly, the truth ain't pretty, and it is what it is.
I know, you're right, she replies weakly with a sigh.
Perhaps I should really consider no longer being his.

She met him.
Infatuated and intrigued,
she chased him.
Curious, yet confused, 
he left her.
That's okay cause
she got over it. 
Regretful,
he came back.
Hesitant,
yet she's still drawn to him.
Determined,
he proved himself.
Overjoyed,
o be still my heart!

They got back together. 
Attentiveness, gone. 
Desire to spend time together, none. 
She's stressed and tired,
yet he continuously neglects her.
Don't make her feel so pathetic, she begs of him. 
Days go by, and still no effort is made.
He takes her presence for granted,
so tell me darling, what would he do if she disappeared?

(Do keep in mind, actions speak louder than words,
though he gives her neither.)

I'm gonna start posting cute monkey pictures here (cause who needs a Tumblr to post pictures? I'm too lazy to make one, and fuck Tumblr. I can do that shit on Xanga too!). And maybe some whale pictures, cause they remind me of Brian. This one was from Caffy♥. It looks like her FaceBook cover photo, only hers is a sheep with glasses and not a monkey. Ohohoh. Ty Caffy! +v+

o. Another year gone by so quickly, and 2013 sounds so gross. "Twenty-thirteen" or "two-thousand thirteen" both. Anyway, this winter break is supposed to be the best winter break ever because Brian came to New York to see me. That and Caffy also came back to NY to spend her winter break with me too!  o. And I took a big step and officially told my parents about Brian, that we're dating and asked if he could stay over at our place for a week or so. My mom said okay, but didn't like the idea of us sleeping together on the same bed, but I did it anyway. I expected my father to bitch or yell at me, but so far he didn't. I guess it's because I never tell them anything and this is the first time that I am, so they don't want to fuck it up. Because if they do, I won't tell them jack shit anymore, and my dad will probably nag me after Brian leaves anyway. And I mean, it still IS the best winter break ever, but nothing ever goes 100% as planned.

December 27th -- Brian was supposed to get here on Dec 27th at 6 PM, but because of a snow storm upstate/in Canada, the buses got delayed for a good 10 hours or something. Then Brian missed the bus because there were too many people lining up, so he had to get on the second bus going to NY. When he finally got on a bus, it broke down somewhere near Binghamton and it was a shitty bus, so no wifi/outlets and the chairs didn't fold back. On top of all that, Brian was sick too. 

December 28th -- He finally got here at around 7AM (~24+ hours after leaving his house), and his cold got worse. So he spent the entire day sleeping and I just took care of him, I guess? Apparently this nigga doesn't get sick a lot, so he's a complete noob at how to cure colds. I told him to drink more fluids and take medicine, then sleep and sweat it off, but he's like "no, I don't like sweating, it's gross". I've been sick 932872935 times, so I think I would know how to get better, so I said that's the only way to get better faster: sweating & peeing a lot. Then that hoe calls me a fake nurse :[ Was supposed to go karaoke with Caffy, Peter, Jason, Ying & Olivia, but Brian wasn't up for it, so we cancelled. T-T Sry guys. 

December 29th -- Woke up and Brian was feeling a bit better. It was supposed to snow all day, so we stayed home and didn't do jack shit. Watched a messed up/funny Korean movie and then took an afternoon nap together. My mom called us at 7PM and told us to get ready cause she was taking us out to get sushi for dinner with my cousin and his wife. Went home and watched Dredd online with Brian as we cuddled. Then went to bed.

December 30th -- Made plans with Caffy & Peter to go eat dimsum, then ice skating at Chelsea Piers after, but because we got out by 12, all the dimsum places were packed and we went to Cha Chan Tang instead for HK food. Caffy was upset with us for not getting there on time & making her wait, so I bought her a drink later on to apologize. Not long after we got to the rink, Jason arrived too. I am pretty bad at ice skating, but I guess I can sorta skate? Dunno, prob only with someone else holding my hand though. I lose my balance randomly and almost fell 289357985 times, but Brian caught me, so I didn't.  Jason fell about 15 mins after arriving and hurt his back/neck, so he didn't skate after that. :[  He also dragged Caffy down with him because she was teaching him how to skate, and she hit her head. Potor skated on his own for a bit, but also fell down with Caffy cause of some old man stopping randomly in front of them. It was fun, but tiring, and at the end of the day, only Brian & I didn't fall OHOHOHO. We went to eat dinner at Ritz after, and then took Caffy home. Jason took us back to his place and we just sat around for a good 30-40 mins talking. Then that fag said he doesn't want to drive anymore, so he made Peter take Brian & I home. Ty Potor, so kind ;v;  Watched Lord of The Rings: Fellowship of the Ring with Brian before knocking out. 

December 31st -- New Year's Eve. Brian and I slept in til around 2PM, and I finally got up to shower at 3PM. We went out to ktown to eat brunch at Shilla. We both ordered a bibambap and a 5 piece dumpling appetizer. I finished my bibambap AND ate 3 dumplings, but that nigga only had 2 dumplings and couldn't finish his bibambap. Can't believe I can eat more than Brian. Brian, who loves to eat. Brian, who has a bottomless pit for a stomach. Brian, who's a whale. Then that nigga tried to make up excuses and said he ate a lot of the side dishes, which wasn't that much at all. PFSH. I BEAT YOU NIGGA OHOHOHO. Then we took the N train to 8th ave and met up with Jason @ Fei Long Supermarket to get ingredients for hotpot because Brian wanted to hotpot for NYE. So hotpot is supposed to be everyone putting whatever they want to eat in the pot and cooking it for themselves, right? Jason's mom, Sylvia, Jason, Brian & I sat around the dinner table, but Jason's mom was doing all the cooking. In fact, she already pre-cooked the ALREADY pre-cooked beef/squid/egg/cuttlefish balls. Didn't let us do jack shit until Jason started yelling at his mom for spoiling him and taking the fun out of hot potting ahaha. Then Jason's mom made a comment saying that everyone's going for Canadians (Jason has a GF in Canadia and Brian's also from there) and asked Sylvia when she was going to bring one home too. LOL That set off a whole conversation about how worried she was about whether or not Sylvia could get a BF/married in the future. It was hilarious. Got home at 11:50something, just in time to count down for new years. Brian gave me a sloppyass new year's kiss and we watched half of Lord of the Rings: Two Towers before I started falling asleep, so we just went to bed. 

January 1st -- Just woke up ~an hour ago to my mom asking if we wanted to go dimsum with my cousin who came to visit from Nevada, but we were still in bed, didn't even shower yet, so I passed. Didn't know what to do today, so I started looking up things to do in NYC in the winter online. How sad, huh? I'm from the city and I don't even know what to do. It is now 2:30PM and Brian is still sleeping, that lazyassnigga. Dunno what we're gonna do yet today, but it's kinda nice that he's the last person I see before falling asleep and the first person I see when I wake up. :]