April 20, 2012
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Douchebag Dad.
This is going to be a rant about my dad. Ever since I was a kid and growing up, people are always telling me that my dad loves me the most and really dotes on me. They tell me that I should treat him better and all that shit. On a good day, I think about all the things that he's done for me: teach me how to play basketball, teach me how to ride a bike, work hard to earn money to raise us (yes, these are the only 3 big things I can really think of-- sad, isn't it?). And then I think about how I usually treat him (disrespectfully) and I feel kinda bad. Why do I do that to my dad?
Then there are days when I realize why I can't be nice and shit to this guy. He's the fucking epitome of an insensitive piece of shit. My fucking hamster's been sick for the last few days and even my brother, who I thought was an asshole feels sad over it. My dad on the other hand can't fucking wait for Stuart to die. Well, I hope you're fucking happy, dad cause he's dead now. He woke me up this morning just to fucking tell me that Stuart's dead and I'd better throw him out along with the cage too because "it has germs". He doesn't know jack shit about hamsters and he starts judging them just because they look like mice. Talk about fucking ignorance. If there's anything this nigga is good at, it's gotta be saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and pissing people off because he never fails to say things that really piss me off to no end.
When I have shit in my room, he touches and throws away stuff he deems "useless". What the fuck asshole, it's my stuff in my room. Who the fuck are you to decide what is or isn't useful to me? I don't fucking go into your room and tell you what to throw out. When my stuff breaks or when I lose something, not only does he not have the decency to keep his mouth shut, but he also has to rub it in and piss me off more by laughing about it. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, FUCKING DOUCHEBAG?! WHAT KIND OF PARENT DOES THIS KINDA SHIT!? IF YOU KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT, NOBODY WOULD THINK YOU WERE MUTE, SO WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HAVE SOME TACT AND STFU FOR A FEW DAYS? I'M NOT EVEN ASKING YOU TO COMFORT ME. ALL THAT I FUCKING ASK IS YOU STFU AND KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT OF MY GODDAMN BUSINESS. IS THAT SO HARD TO DO? I tell him that and all he can do is get tight and say that I can't say that kinda disrespectful shit to him cause he's my dad. Well, dad maybe if you'd behave in a way that deserves respect, I'll respect you, fucker.
/endrant.
R.I.P Stuart.
Comments (10)
(clasps my hands together and prays) though Stuart maybe in eternal slumber, may it be sweet and sound.
R.I.P. Stuart
stuart is in a better place now. i didn't even get to see him.
Don't throw him out! WE CAN DISSECT HIM! Find out if there's really a tumor growing or something. Except we have to study the hamster brain then. Also...the diseases...are they contagious? Sterile kits are expensive yo.
...am I being heartless? I'm sorry for your loss then.
@TheYellowChick - Yeah, wtf is wrong with you?
At least give Stuart a proper burial
@chippedskull - Okay, fine. We'll give him a proper burial. Find him some stable soil, uh...concrete ground. Actually you got some real soil around your place don't you? I suppose you can't wait that long to bury him (how are you going to build him a coffin--omg, can totally youtube this. CREEPY CRAFTS)....ok, I'm being an ass. I'm sorry I'm not mature enough to be able to emphasize.
I'll write a lovely um, oh crap forgot the SAT word...you know the speeches they give at funerals? What are those called?
@TheYellowChick - You mean a(n? sounds weird with a n) eulogy?
@chippedskull - Yes. That's what I mean. Here I'll make one up right now in haiku form:
Oh Stuart you twerp
How dare you live for so short
Jessica loved you
Whadda think? That actually took more than thirty seconds...I'm ashamed of myself.
@TheYellowChick - LMFAO. That doesn't even make sense. "Lived for so short". Why not just "How dare you die so quickly"?