Man, I sometimes wish we all had no feelings. Then there's one less way for us to get hurt. But I guess you could argue that we wouldn't be able to experience happiness. I feel like we all try to hard to go about doing things so that we can spare ourselves to feelings of hurt and sadness, but it's not possible to really be completely invulnerable. So recently, a lot of good and close friends are feeling shitty and down for various reasons, and being an ESFJ, apparently I sense and feel more than I judge and think, so I guess their feelings reflect onto me and influence my mood. Not that I'm trying to make their problems into something about me, I just feel kinda upset that I don't really know what to do to make them feel better. Yesterday, a friend was texting me about feeling down/depressed over something, but she wasn't being very clear, so it kind of annoyed me because it sort of irks me when people say something is wrong, yet won't tell me what the problem exactly is. I'm sorry, but I don't really know how to help you if I don't know what is wrong. Then my other friend told me that I suck at comforting people and that I am like a guy in that sense, which is unfortunately true. It's probably one of the reasons why I don't get along well with my mother, haha. 

On a side note, last week I had to work with a partner in my psych class, and luckily for me, this girl sitting behind me asked to work with me. She was Asian too, and we kinda hit it off, I'd like to think. It's funny because we've been in the same class for half the semester now, but only started talking now. Well, actually it's not that surprising, seeing as we don't have assigned seats and I usually sit in random empty seats when I walk in. But anyway, so we chatted during break and worked together on group work shit. It was nice, having someone to talk to. One thing that I noticed, though, was that this girl is fucking pretty. And idk, I don't have many female friends and being a girl myself, I am pretty harsh at judging other girls (not in the sense that I call everyone ugly, but in the sense that I don't call other girls pretty unless I think she's actually pretty). Like most people who enjoy looking at pretty things, I found this girl pleasing to the eyes -- NO HOMO (SO IF BY ANY CHANCE YOU'RE READING THIS, I SWEAR I'M NOT A LESBIAN!! Not that there's anything wrong with gays/lesbians, but ya I don't swing that way.) Today we sat next to each other again, and I felt the urge to blurt out "you're really pretty" out of nowhere to her, but idk if that's gonna weird her out so I didn't. LOL :[ After thinking about it though, it's not like me to hold back from expressing myself. I am straightforward, and it is what it is so I shall tell her next week! 

I've been disappointed so much in my life, by people who I love and care about. Honestly, I don't know how to handle disappointment anymore. I'm so sick and tired of being let down, but it's a lot worse when you actually give a huge shit about the person or people who are disappointing you. There are two types of disappointment that I feel right now: 
1. When someone intentionally makes the decision to do stupid things and make me worry about them
2. When someone either can't see or chooses to ignore the blatant fact that I care about them, and doesn't reciprocate

I wanted to vent and shit, but there's not much I can even say about this. It just sucks to feel this way about someone you love. I'm scared that I'll start building up walls around me and pushing people away just to avoid this feeling.