I finally got my period today, and my day just went downhill from there. Aside from the obvious "my vagina's fucking bleeding", I also happen to be one of the people who gets really bad cramps. Of course, my cramps aren't always that bad every month, but today it's pretty bad. I woke up pretty late, around 2:30PM, and then went to shower at 3. Right when I decided to go shower, I felt blood gushing out of my vagina, and I knew that my period has arrived to RUIN MY WEEK. When I came out of the shower, it was 4 and I looked around for food to eat. I saw a bunch of moon cakes lying around on the dinner table (because it's Mid-Autumn Festival this weekend) and I decided to eat one. HUGE mistake. Not long after, I began to feel like shit and my cramps started getting really bad, and because I had planned to watch Looper with Jason, I decided to pop pills to make the pain go away. I left home wearing jeans, a tank top and a hoodie because it's like, 70 degrees and raining, so I figured it should be fine. When I get outside, it's a bit chilly and drizzling, but not too bad. I managed to walk about a block and a half down the road when I started feeling extremely nauseous and began to have a panic attack. I decided then and there to cancel the movie and turned around to walk back home, but holy shit that mere 1.5 blocks felt like 9283725 blocks. It was absolute torture. And here's a few period symptoms that I sometimes get, for you guys who don't know what it's like for us girls to be on our period. My crotch feels like someone punched it a few times and it hurts like hell. And my butt feels like I need to shit when I might not really have to, so pretty much I feel constipated for possibly no reason. Which means I can't get rid of that feeling by simply taking a shit BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE TO SHIT. Anyway, I felt so nauseous that I looked frantically around for a dry bench to sit down at so I could do those stupid breathing exercise, y'know inhale and exhale deeply, take deep breaths blahblahblah. I spotted one -- the bench at the bus stop. Unfortunately, an old Asian lady and her grandchild were sitting down. Fortunately, just as I walked up to the bus stop, the bus came and they got on. Unfortunately, by the time I got to the bus stop I couldn't hold in my vomit anymore, and threw up in my left hand and all over the floor at the bus stop. I sat my ass down, and started to cough and breathe, and tried to get the vomit off my hand. I felt my pills coming back up, so there goes my painkillers. In less than 5 minutes, another fucking bus comes up to the stop. I motion at the bus driver that I'm not getting on, and when people got off, they had to face the surprise that I left for them on the floor. Really? The one day that I don't need to take the bus and it comes so frequently, wtf.  When I felt like I was ready to go (aka was pretty sure didn't have to throw up anymore), I got up to walk home. That's when I realized that I was sweating like crazy, but I felt both hot and cold. It didn't make any sense. When I got to my block, I felt like I was going to die because my cramps were so bad and I felt like I had to take a huge dump and like I needed to empty the entire contents of my stomach. I stopped on the side of the block and bent over a little. At that point, I honestly was contemplating lying down on wet pavement, curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. But of course, I couldn't do that because that's just crazy. Then I threw up my sad excuse for a lunch and the vomit was all yellow from the preserved egg yolk lol. I saw this guy walk by me and gave me this look that clearly said "the fuck is wrong with her?". I bet he thought I was anorexic or something :[ . I ignored him and made my way home shortly. I opened the door to my building and saw the guy standing there waiting for the elevator. That was definitely an awkward elevator ride. When I got home, I immediately threw down my bag and pretty much stripped and put on pajamas. My hands were shaking as I took my contacts off and tried not to drop them. Then I crawled into bed and curled up in a ball. I laid there for the longest time, but couldn't sleep because the pain from the cramps kept me up. Lying down helps ease the pain a little, but because I threw up the painkillers, the cramps weren't getting any better. I was too afraid to try taking another one in case it makes me want to throw up again. Eventually, my mom came home (about 2 hours later) and was surprised to find me in bed all pathetic-looking because I told her that I was going to watch a movie. She gave me more painkillers and I managed to cry myself to sleep. The end. 

Man, I don't even know what the hell is wrong with me. PMS maybe? Or probably just the side effects of going to school. I feel so damn tired and unmotivated to do jack shit. I'm always so goddamn irritable and discontent with my monotonous life. And the worse part is, I can't even "change things up" with anything because nothing seems to interest me anymore. It's as if my taste buds stopped working and everything I eat tastes the same. Or like all the colors in the world have faded to gray. I feel like a moody old woman. ARGHHASLDFJ;ALSKF THIS BLOWS!!!!@$  D:<

The thing is, I thought I would be able to escape the depression that always accompanies attending school this time because I'm in a relationship now. HAH! Yeah right. Nigga is as comforting as a fucking log. Every time I try to talk to him, he pretty much ignores what I say or doesn't respond. I know that guys don't like listening to girls bitch and moan about every little thing, and maybe it's just me, but I thought he'd be happy that he's the one that I turn to whenever something happens, good or bad. I mean, I'd want him to do the same because I want to be the first person that he tells anything to as well. Perhaps I should find somebody else to confide in. 

Today's the first day of classes for this fall semester, and just like last semester, I have an 8AM class Mon-Thurs again. Only difference is instead of Korean, I'm taking Intro to Chinese for Advanced Beginners. Aiming for that ezpz A, I guess, and this class is being taught in simplified Chinese, so it's not like I know everything already. I got to class 15 minutes early, so I was one of the first people there. I sat there, waiting for people to show up and for class to begin. There was a total of about 15 people in the class, half guys half girls I think? Anyway, a girl walked in and sat next to me. She introduced herself as Stephanie when we all had to take turns with introductions. There were two white guys and the rest were Asians -- mostly Cantonese speaking kids, a few Mandarin and one FJ. When the class ended, everyone stuck around because the professor asked us to individually meet with her briefly. Stephanie asked me a question about the textbook, and FOR SOME REASON, I decided to make small talk with her after answering her question. I usually keep to myself and shit, but I decided to make a friend today. Perhaps it is to confirm that I am not a socially awkward/shy person who can't make friends and that I am just a stuck-up bitch who doesn't talk to others unless she feels like it.  Stephanie and I got along pretty well, and we went from waiting for each other after class ended to grabbing lunch together. I even visited her dorm and met one of her roommates. We talked about a variety of different things, and I found that we have quite a few things in common. Apparently all the guys in our Chinese class are cute (according to Stephanie, anyway). I didn't really pay attention to any of them, just glanced at them as they were introducing themselves. There was this one guy who sat across from me that I paid a little bit more attention to, but that's cause he reminded me of Brian, ahaha. Then after lunch, she asked me if I wanted to go to the gym with her tonight and grab dinner, and I said sure. We parted ways at around 1:30 cause I had another class at 2. 

My second class of the day was Intro to Computer Programming, which had a class size of 55 students. It's a small lecture hall, and the professor was relatively young. He seemed to be pretty chill and whatnot, but 2PM classes, yo. Right after I had a filling lunch. I found myself nodding off to sleep within 20 minutes of the class LOL :[ There was a black girl who sat on my left and a white guy who sat on my right, both of whom probably saw me sleeping... /SIGH And the black girl kept trying to initiate conversation with me, but I ignored her because she's blac-- JK (sorta) idk why I ignored her. I think computer programming is fun to learn, but also more challenging. I hope I don't fall behind in that class.  After class I went to the computer lab to print out syllabuses for my classes and then to the bookstore to rent textbooks. Then I went home cause it was humid as fuck and I was sweating balls, so I figured I should take a quick shower before heading back out to go to the gym. But after my shower, I have a missed call from Stephanie, and I still can't call her back. I'm in my PJs and comfortable as hell right now. Plus it's raining, so I think I will go to the gym with Stephanie tomorrow instead. I think this girl will make good company this semester. She will be my workout and study buddy. Cheers to me making a new friend!